I Sang In The Shower This Morning!
I so loved seeing the cloud blanket on the Sleeping Ute and the dawn coming up in the east. I said “hi!” to the deer in the yard. And I sang without thinking in the shower! I realized that after weeks of coughing for at least half an hour at bedtime—one reason why I am really glad I am single at this point!—I haven’t been coughing at all! I cannot remember the last time I felt as happy as I feel now. I know, I seem pretty happy all of the time. But I am at a high that I have not had in years! If this was why the Universe or God slammed me with this, wow, I got it. I feel as thought I have broken through an emotional sound barrier. And I just want to tell all of you, just fuck all of your fears and worries. If you are alive, that is a huge gift. I am wallowing in happiness and gratitude. I am going to take that lavender bubble bath that you sent me, Beth, Sally and Stephanie, and bathe in bubbles of gratitude. I am going to to buy gel pens in a rainbow of colors for entries in my daily planner and in the gratitude journal that you and your team sent me Michelle that I didn’t think was for me and that I am loving. I am looking at the Houston opera schedule so that I can go to the opera—which is damn good—with Sarah after my infusions. If I can’t find a place to buy in Park City, I am going to rent the cutest damned place I can find and who gives a fuck what the rent is! Well, maybe I give a tiny fuck, but, you get it. Wherever I live, I am always going to have a tree with lights. It’ll be a Christmas tree at Christmas time and then some pretty white tree with elegant branches that I will drape lights around the rest of the year. With flowers in the spring and summer and autumn leaves in the fall. My windows will always have candles in them. Oh my God, I am so in love with myself and my incredible resilient body, the life that is in it and the new lease on life that I am getting thanks to these incredible, wild, nutty-under-their-professional exteriors doctors. I am so in love with my wonderful daughters, who are elegant and a little bit crazy and wonderful in their own unique ways. I so love all of you and all of your love and encouragement and I am sending it right back at you because you are so worth it! You have sent me love, you have sent me encouragement and you have sent me laughter and joy. So, treat yourself, Indulge yourself. Revel in your own wonderful youness! Because I feel so connected to you—even though we’re far apart—in that wonderfully way that cells and plant and animals and humans can connect in some invisible rainbow ether that connects us all if we’ll just let ourselves feel it!
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