I can't believe she's dead. She was such a life force! I love her for many things, her voice, her style, her shoes, and especially her power. She is a strong, talented, vital woman and she stayed with her abuser for years. I always felt like a loser for staying in an unhappy marriage that I now know was an emotionally abusive one. My grandmother, Vena Hemstock Rice, went after a man who beat his wife. She called my grandmother in tears to tell her. "Tell him I'm on my way!" my grandmother said, and jumped in her car to drive to their farm. The man was so frightened that he hid in the hay mow when she came out to their farm! My grandmother did own the farm, he was leasing it from her, so she definitely had economic power over him. Still, she did not sit idly by. And I always felt, how can I be such a doormat with the blood of a woman like her running in my veins?
Tina left Ike because she was afraid for her life. She came out of the divorce with her name and not much else. It took her a while to get back on her feet, but look what she made of herself while he spiraled into the depths.
So whenever I learn of a woman I admire who stayed with a man she knew she should leave, whether he was abusive or two-timed her, and then soared when they finally split, I am so inspired! I have learned so much about the forces that kept me where I was.
That's why yesterday, when my radiation team said, "What do you want to hear?" I said, "How about Tina Turner?"
During radiation always lie there and visualize the golden gates to my body opening and my cells running, laughing, to meet the radiation rays and running off hand and hand to vaporize cancer cells so that healthy compliant ones regenerate in their place. But yesterday those cells and rays were wearing reinforced spike heels, flipping their hair in the air and stomping those cells with their spike heels, turning them to harmless dust that washed right out of me.
Meanwhile, in other updates, I got the scoop on my pulmonary test. My lungs are "excellent!" according to my radiologist. He said it's as if I never smoked--I was a weekend smoker in my late teens, twenties and early thirties.
Yesterday I passed a room with a sign that said "Radiation Physics."
"What's that?" I asked, thinking of Alex, Sally!
It's where they double-check all of their calculations for zapping you and actually run a test on what they call a phantom version of you so they can see the impact of the radiation on your body and tweak it even more. Amazing, huh!
I'm waiting for my final zap of the week right now. After I'm done, I'll pick up Gav and head to the airport. She'll fly to New York, where she's going to stay with her grandmother and work. And I'll meet Sarah at the airport and she and I will fly to Minneapolis to spend Memorial Day weekend at Spring Bank!
Have a great weekend!